童年的我們總帶著美好的幻想看待這個世界，一切都如糖果店一般，色彩斑斕，香甜醉人。而成長的經過，就是漸漸地揭開這層不真實的輕紗，看到很多缺陷。有人說這個過程叫“幻滅”，其實更應該稱為“還原”。雖然失去那些看似的美好，但成長的意義就在于能夠勇敢地面對缺陷，正視一個不完美的世界和其中的自己。

By Amirah Ahmad

黃湘淇 注

Whenever my mother took me to the grocery store, my favorite part was the last step in the process, checking out. I used to be completely mesmerized as the cashier clicked on his screen, scanned the box of cereal, and bagged the goods. I distinctly remember once whispering into my mother’s ear, remember once whispering into my mother’s ear, “I want to do that when I grow up.” To appease my desires, my mom instead bought me a toy cashier and fake fruits and vegetables with which I played with until the very end of its toy lifetime. I loved it. Wanting to work a cashier is a strange wish to have, and I’d be lying if I said I got over that feeling. Years later, however, I finally was able to fulfill this “dream.”

With a group of my peers, I went to a local amusement park on behalf of an organization called GlobeMed. Each of us worked at a different location, whether that was a souvenir shop, a funnel cake stand, a game booth, or a candy shop. Instead of paying us the wages we each earned working an 8-hour shift, the wages were instead donated to GlobeMed.

Though it may seem trivial, my day in the candy shop opened my eyes to a harsh reality. It all started when the manager walked me over to the candy store that I would be working at. It looked like the typical candy shop in an amusement park: magical outdoor decorations with an even more enchanting interior that was clad with colorful figures and filled with delicious treats. He introduced me to the team: Maddie, Zoe, and Chanel (*names have been changed to protect the identity of these individuals). Zoe was my age, and I was surprised to hear she was the supervisor. Chanel was also my age, and Maddie was 17. From the get go, Maddie began to show me the ropes. She taught me how to use the cash register (which was undoubtedly the most thrilling part), how to cut fudge samples, the process of checking out the special gourmet desserts, and more. The three of them were incredibly nice and welcoming. Even better, my first ever transaction on the cashier was smooth and hassle-free.

I loved interacting with the customers and weighing their bulky candy bags filled with chocolate gold coins, gummy bears, and Skittles. Even when I wasn’t using the cashier, it was entertaining to simply watch the customers explore the depths of candy shop. The children were especially fun to watch, as they ran from one corner of the store to another, trying to get all the candy their tiny hands could hold. The extremely candy-obsessed children would be unwilling to relinquish their candy so that I could weigh the bag or scan the barcode.

Sometimes I would be shocked at the sheer amount of candy people would be willing to purchase. Because the candy shop was in an amusement park, it was obviously significantly more expensive than buying candy at the grocery store. That didn’t stop some customers. Some families would come to the register lugging around pounds of candy, which often totaled to more than $75, which left me speechless. I realized the families were having a fun day out, but to purchase over $50 of candy they can buy at their local grocery store was completely nonsensical to me.

What’s more, the amount of food waste that occurs in these shops is astronomical and absolutely repulsive. At one point, I saw Zoe making chocolate-dipped cookies while complaining about how useless it was that she was making them. When I asked her why, she explained how her boss had ordered her to make a certain number of cookies even though they would have throw them out the same day due to health regulations. Essentially, she was unnecessarily making cookies she would have to most likely throw away at the end of the workday. This apparently happened a lot. Zoe told me about how she would often throw away boxes of apples, candy, and other treats. In order to curb the food waste, Zoe said she usually began to give away the treats for free near closing time, but even this wasn’t enough to make the food waste acceptable. I was truly shocked to hear this, especially when I know how much people suffer from hunger in America and across the world. 。 A few customers in, Chanel asked me if I liked it so far and I said I was really enjoying it. When I asked her the same thing, however, she simply made it seem like it was another, rather dull , day at work. I asked Maddie how she liked working at the candy shop and she excitedly told me today was her last day. Zoe teased her saying, “You’re going to come back! I know it.”

“No, I’m never coming back,” Maddie replied with a sincerity that made me feel uneasy, cutting the conversation short.

I then asked each of them how long they had been working at this candy store. Maddie had started in March, Chanel had started in July, and Zoe had been there for four years—and all of them were ready to leave. All of them were in school, and the commute for Chanel was roughly 2 hours in total. Slowly, I began to unweave the seemingly idyllic innerworkings of the candy store. As I talked to each of these girls and dug deeper into their stories and then turned around to see a beaming child eager to purchase candy was so bizarre to me. I remember being that child who was obliviously only concerned with what type of candy I’d be able to munch on instead of eating a real meal. The harshness of reality was suddenly settling in at a place where my childhood dreams came true, and I found that so metaphorical and empowering. Real life isn’t just about sugar drops and dum-dums like children think it is to be. Even I’m guilty for believing, or wanting to believe, that life can be perfect. Nothing, however, is perfect—not even a candy store and every thing inside of it.

Vocabulary

1. grocery store: 雜貨店；check out: 結賬。

2. be mesmerized: 著迷；cashier: 收銀員；click on: 在……點擊；cereal: 麥片；bag: vt. 裝袋。

3. distinctly: 清楚地；whisper: 耳語。

4. 為了滿足我的渴望，媽媽給我買了個收銀機玩具和仿制的水果和蔬菜，我一直把它們玩到壽終正寢。appease: 使……滿足。

5. get over: 克制（感情）。

6. peer: 同伴，同輩；amusement park: 游樂場；on behalf of: 代表；GlobeMed: 一家組織美國大學與不發達地區草根醫療機構一對一合作的機構，意在推進全球健康與社會公正。

7. souvenir shop: 紀念品商店；funnel cake stand: 煎餅攤；game booth: 游戲攤。

8. trivial: 不值一提；harsh: 嚴酷的。

9. 這家看起來就是游樂園里典型的糖果店：外面裝飾魔幻十足，內飾更加令人著迷，墻上畫滿了五顏六色的圖案，擺滿了美味的糖果。decoration: 裝飾；enchanting: 迷人的； interior: 內部；be clad with: 被……覆蓋著。

10. from the get go:從最 開始；rope: 規矩。

11. 她教我怎么使用收銀機（這無疑是最激動人心的部分），怎么切軟糖試吃品、特定美味小食的結賬過程等等。cash register: 收銀機；thrilling: 激動人心；fudge: 軟糖；check out: （商家等）計價收款；gourmet desserts: 美味甜點。

12. transaction: 交易；smooth: 順利的；hassle-free: 毫無麻煩。

13. interact with: 與……打交道；bulky: 體積大的；chocolate gold coin: 金幣巧克力； gummy bears: 小熊軟糖；Skittles: 彩虹糖。

14. explore the depths of: 對……深入探索。

15. 這些對糖果極度上癮的孩子都不愿意放開糖果讓我給袋子稱重或掃條形碼。candy-obsessed: 對糖果上癮的；relinquish: 讓與，交給；barcode: 條形碼。

16. sheer: 極大的。

17. lug: 用力拉或拖；total to: 總共達到；speechless: 無語，無話可說。

18. 我意識到 ，這些家庭歡樂了一天，但在這里購買五十美元以上數額的糖果，我卻不能理解——這些糖果明明在他們當地的雜貨店就能買到。nonsensical: 毫無意義的。

19. astronomical: 天文數字的，數量天大；repulsive: 令人厭惡的。

20. 當我問她為什么時，她解釋道，她老板讓她做一定數量的餅干，即使那些餅干當天就會因為衛生法規全部扔掉。

21. 為了避免浪費食物，佐伊說她在快關門前就會免費分發這些點心，但這樣也不足以讓人接受食物的浪費現象。curb: 避免。

22. suffer from hunger: 忍饑受餓。

23. dull: 無趣。

24. tease: 逗，打趣。

25. sincerity: 真誠。

26. commute: 通勤。

27. unweave: 解開；seemingly: 表面上看來； idyllic: 悠閑的；innerworkings：內部工作。

28. beaming: 兩眼發光的；bizarre: 奇怪的。

29. obliviously: 遺忘地；munch on: 津津有味地咀嚼。

30. metaphorical: 隱喻性的；empowering: 給人力量的。

31. sugar drops: 糖雨； dum-dums: 笨笨棒棒糖。

32. be guilty for: 對……感到愧疚。

（來源：英語學習雜志 編輯：丹妮）